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Jan. 7th, 2010

  • 3:07 PM
Sex lowers risk of heart attack, breast cancer, prostate cancer, plus other benefits. Thoughts?

http://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/01/07/sex.health.benefits/index.html

ETA: I dunno, it makes me feel more like asexuality isn't normal. Obviously it's not to say that we're unhealthy, but I don't know... it's hard to argue with numbers. Just wondering what other people thought of this :x

State of the Goat 2009

  • Jan. 7th, 2010 at 1:10 PM


It's been a momentous 12 months here at LiveJournal. We crossed a capital T at Ten years young. And, like most precocious pubescents, we celebrated turning double digits by publishing our first book! Needless to say, we've experienced some major changes, both inside and out. Before we recap, we'd like to thank you for bearing with us as we've struggled through ungainly growth spurts, identity pangs, and, yes, the occasional blemish. We hope you'll continue to stand by us: We're gaining wisdom with maturity.

Stuff you liked

  • Back in February, we placed a call for entries for our ten-year anniversary anthology in [info]lj_turns10. In December (less than a year later!), we officially announced the publication of Live Journal: The First Decade. Featuring an inspired collection of writing, photographs, and artwork from the pages of LiveJournal history, the book has been selected by Blurb.com as a top staff pick! We are proud to have played host to so much talent over the years, and we thank our contributors for sharing their extraordinary work.
  • We all love quirky surprises, but not when it comes to managing our account settings. This year we streamlined settings into one central account management area. No more pouring through FAQs to figure out how to control privacy settings, modify notifications, adjust mobile settings, or update contact information!
  • Being users ourselves, we realize our own mothers couldn't find us on LiveJournal based on our usernames and userpics alone (*heaves heavy sigh of relief*). But since there are times when we actually want to be found, we created a search tool--Find Your Friends--to help locate people by email address (it's in the Friends drop-down menu).
  • Spam counter-attack: The war against vicious malware and spambots reigns eternal, but we've been making serious inroads to ensure your online security. We've established new protocols, such as requiring email address validations. We've grown more savvy about ferreting out suspicious behavior. We've added features, like whitelisting, to help you protect your communities. Our valiant (i.e., overworked) spam avengers (a/k/a the LiveJournal ops team) are standing on red alert so you can sleep safely at night.
  • After an intensive beta, we launched My Guests at the end of the year, which lets you see who's been hanging around your journal. A number of you have even discovered secret admirers (not all of whom are creepy)!
  • Last, but by no means least, we want to thank our volunteers for providing invaluable support and feedback. Their Herculean efforts enable us to answer your questions more efficiently, identify spammers, reduce abuse, and deliver better features (through tireless testing). On behalf of the staff and the larger LiveJournal community, we are truly grateful for their diligence, intelligence, loyalty, and passion.

You got your fix

  • We recently debugged a number of the oustanding issues with the rich text editor so your entries look great regardless of whether you know html. You can read more about text editors here.
  • In response to user demand, we brought back international voice posting. For more info on voice posting, read here.
  • At long last, we revived TxtLJ with Verizon. For more info on TxtLJ, check out the FAQ.

Paid features you enjoyed

  • In December, we introduced My Stats, which provides detailed data on who's been viewing your entries as well as statistics on commenting, RSS requests, friending history, and more. Despite a few early glitches, the response has been extremely favorable.
  • This year, we launched and improved Notes (i.e., the feature formerly known as Alias), which lets you add private comments on friends and commenters (it's in the Profile drop-down menu). This way you won't be caught red-faced when you strain to remember details about that wonderful LiveJournal friend who sent you a birthday vGift. For more info, read the FAQ.
  • When we first announced View friends pages by date, we thought it would be a quiet, minor enhancement. The rave reaction floored us, which made us all very happy. We gave it a fine tuning in February of 2009, so it's even better!
  • How embarrassing! It appears pingbacks have gone back to the shop for service. We’ll keep you posted. We didn't know just much you liked pingbacks until it went in for service. It's back and, judging by your irritation when it wasn't available, this is good news. FYI, pingbacks send instant notifications (via screened comments) whenever someone links to one of your entries on LiveJournal. For more info, read this entry in [info]paidmembers or check out the FAQ.

Mixed reviews

  • The search is still on. Some of you have reported getting more comprehensive results for keyword searches using the new Yandex search engine and like the ability to search within content categories (like entries or comments). Others have not been satisfied with the relevancy of search results. Please be patient. We're still tweaking this product.
  • This past December, we wanted to try out a new holiday promotion. Given the crap economy, we decided to offer our Paid/Permanent users a stack of $10 coupons to send to Basic/Plus users for paid account upgrades. We hoped you would like it. And some of you did, but many were disappointed that we didn't offer Give More as well. We want to thank you so much for letting us know. Your input will help us plan better in the future. Just FYI, Paid/Permanent users can continue to send out coupons through January 15th. Coupons can be redeemed through January 31, 2010.
  • We were pretty excited about Your Journal Your Money, which allows Paid/Permanent users to earn extra cash by displaying Google ads to Basic/Plus and logged out users. A number of you tried it. Some of you really like it. Others, not so much. (Just FYI, Paid/Permanent users who do not participate in this program will not view ads on journals. Participants will see ads on their own journal, but won't see them on other journals unless they specifically opt in.) For additional details, visit here.
  • We relaunched m.livejournal.com, our mobile app. While it offers a nicer UI and enhanced functionality, some of you think we can do better on load times. Like most of us, it's a work in progress. You can customize your mobile settings here. For more info, please read the FAQ.

Missing Inaction

  • We shudder to bring up the neon purple elephant squatting on our heads, but, yes, we didn't give you those a la carte userpics. We've been making radical improvements to our backend in order to support them. But no excuses. We know you want them. We cringe every time you mention them. We're sorry we dropped the ball on this, and we promise to do our best to get them to you in 2010.

Stumbling points

  • Back in early August, we experienced outages related to a series of DDoS attacks. We are proud to report that we were down a total of one hour over the course of a few days. We thank our heroic ops guys for getting us up sooner and more consistently than any of our less fortunate social networking friends. We apologize for leaving you temporarily stranded.
  • A couple of months back, we offered a free, unrestricted vGift, which induced a snowflake cookie avalanche. This resulted in backed up/delayed notifications, which, in turn, led us to reboot systems, rendering scrapbooks unavailable. It took a while to shovel free. Apologies for the inconvenience. We learned a valuable lesson that should keep us calamity-free in the future (fingers crossed while knocking on wood).
  • That darn Best Buy ad. First off, we're sorry about the audio auto-play (we got it turned off as quickly as possible). While it's true that we'll continue to show this type of ad to accounts that normally see them (never to Paid/Permanent accounts), we'll make sure the sound defaults to off moving forward. We promise to do our very best to keep ads to a minimum on LiveJournal, while keeping a roof over Frank's head.

Full steam ahead!

As we plunge headfirst into the next decade, we want to take a moment to look back and thank all of our employees, both past and present, who have worked so hard to create our unique and magical universe. We couldn't have made it this far without you: Your contributions brighten our path everyday. We also want to extend our heartfelt appreciation to each and every one of you. Whether you've been around for ten days or ten years, your humor, intelligence, talent, and creativity are what makes this the most vibrant global community on the Internet (the best place on the Web, in our humble opinion). Here's hoping that 2010 will be the greatest year yet! We thank you for joining us as we embark upon another glorious decade of LiveJournal history!

Nudity and Sexuality

  • Jan. 6th, 2010 at 9:47 PM
As an asexual, how do you feel about nudity (your own, that of others, in media, in art)? Do you associate nudity with sexuality? Does the context of the nudity make a difference in how you perceive it (i.e. a painting compared to an erotic photograph)? Does seeing nudity or being nude (alone or in front of others) make you uncomfortable?

I ask because there is, of course, an undeniable tendancy in society to associate nudity with sexuality, to the point where nudity in any context is taboo, and I don't understand that at all and I'm not sure if it's because of my asexuality or not. I'm interested to know how other asexuals view the natural body. Feel free to discuss.

Romance?

  • Jan. 5th, 2010 at 2:27 PM
So, [info]goddessofchaos's post got me to thinking about romance. An asexual "dating" site could cater to both romantics and aromantics, theoretically.
So I thought I'd ask you folks what you consider romance to be, and why you're aromantic or not. As for me, I consider romance to be game-playing. All the social gestures I don't understand - the sorts of things one sees around Valentines day. Classic romance is obviously flowers and candles and dinners for two and ... well, shit. It's remembering anniversaries, sappy gifts and stressing about your looks.
I dislike romance, because I feel as if I'm being played and the other person isn't being honest with me, rather hiding behind all this pomp and preconceived gestures. Plus any kind of sappiness makes me uncomfortable. I consider myself aromantic and am unsure of how I'm supposed to respond when people do this kind of thing to me, so it just ends up awkward. I'm not, however, against close companionship. Sometimes, I think I need more of that being usually quite a solitary person. Unfortunately, companionship is out of style and most people can't manage it without tripping over romance in the process.
What about you guys? What do you think romance is, and why are you a romantic or an aromantic?

Homepage Spotlight 1/04/10

  • Jan. 4th, 2010 at 2:38 PM
[info]2amtomorning
If you find yourself at the crossroads of insomnia and insanity, this is the place to channel those demons that keep you sleepless. Vivid pictures, poetry, ruminations, and confessions from the nether hours between dusk and dawn. Originally formed to celebrate the city at night, there's a strong urban theme.

Homepage Spotlight 1/04/10

  • Jan. 4th, 2010 at 2:37 PM
[info]green_future
Dedicated to promoting global sustainability, this community offers a forum for discussing current environmental news, research, and issues with tips on how to make positive, pro-active changes to reduce carbon impact. You'll also find information on how to get involved in eco-activism and learn about events near you (i.e., act local; think global). Offering a wealth of data on earth-friendly products and practices, you'll be inspired to don an organic bamboo cape and save the planet.

Homepage Spotlight 1/04/10

  • Jan. 4th, 2010 at 2:35 PM
[info]wtf_sexism
Self-described as "a little community with a lot of rage," you can soak up impassioned vibes and read blistering exposes detailing sexist attitudes in the news, pop culture, and science! A must-join community if you are, or love, a feminist. (NB: the topic of whether a "man" can be a feminist is outside the scope of this spotlight, but will probably wind up on the Writer's Block.)

Intro!

  • Jan. 3rd, 2010 at 12:21 AM
 Hi! I'm new to this community (I just joined what...last night?) and figured I should make an introduction post.

My name is Chloe.  I'm 17 and up until, well, last night, identified as pansexual after a two-year-long struggle with sexuality identification.  I thought I was straight up until two years ago, when I crushed pretty hard on a female classmate, and then not quite as hard (it was closer to infatuation than a legit crush) on another.

More )

Jan. 2nd, 2010

  • 11:23 PM
i am trying to believe that as a romantic asexual,
i will not be alone like this forever.
but it is so lonely.

can anyone else relate?

Jan. 2nd, 2010

  • 3:34 AM
"Facebook says you're a man."
"I'm as male as I am female, which is to say not very."
"Hahaha, of course you're female, you're Gemma, you're a female called Gemma."
"...Well, I'm not inside, that's the point."
"No more talk of androgyny please, I'm confused."

People just can't take the hint. I mention this sort of thing as casually as I can, in real life, online, with everybody. The number of times I've been told to to shut up, that I'm talking bollocks - "Of course you're not asexual, you're just scared of sex 'cause your parents split up, of course you're not genderless, you're a woman, you're all woman, a beautiful, curvaceous woman with fantastic breasts" (weeell, that may've been exaggerated slightly) - but accusing me of putting myself down, that I'm just a bit worried about being with somebody, I just need to get over myself and enjoy life, I'm always being so down on myself. Thing is though mate, I'm not. I'm cheerfully and casually telling you the truth about my life, because I want to change this perception people have that asexuals are obviously unhappy, repressed, miserable beings with no pleasures to delight in, or to speak of; and that because I can't force myself into playing the role I was supposedly born to play - even though I have tried and tried again - I must hate myself. I must be so unhappy. If they were genderless and asexual, they would be unhappy. So, to cheer me up, they tell me what they think I want to hear. That it's all imaginary. Brilliant! They mean so well, but they get it so, so wrong. They're telling me that who I am is wrong and incomprehensible.

I suffer from depression as it goes, and confusion about my sexuality and my place in life is a big part of that. People dismissing the things I am sure about makes me feel worse. It reinforces the confusion and makes me want to change, which is what makes me miserable. I can't change. This is the way I am. I can't accept being a woman, a sexual woman or a girlfriend if it all feels wrong. It's not something new. It's always felt wrong. 'Getting over it' wouldn't make me happy. Being who I am makes me happy. I don't know what else I can do (short of radical surgery/brain transplant/telepathy/leaving this entry public) to make people listen to me. It's so difficult, trying to tell people how I feel but at the same time, not make it a big deal. Because it isn't a big deal. I don't feel female and I don't experience sexual attraction. That's it. It sounds confusing, but it's really not. Call me Gemsy, call me 'woman', call me 'her'... whatever, I don't mind, it's not a big deal. But telling me I'm being silly for describing myself how I chose to describe myself - well, it hurts. I'm me and if you're going to love me I want you to love me for who I am, not despite of my depression/repression/confusion, or for what I am underneath it. I don't know. Just listen to me, and stop telling me what you think I want to hear.

I dunno what else to tell ya.

New with questions

  • Dec. 31st, 2009 at 11:34 PM
Not new to Asexuality, seeing as how I discovered I was asexual over 4 years ago (after many years of thinking there was something wrong with me, or that I was broken), but new to the group. My question is, how do you meet someone who has no desire to have sexual relations what so ever in a world full of those who have sex as the center of their lives? Sadly I also have issues with space and also have no real desire to have someone cling to me (cuddling/prolonged hugging/kissing/holding hands/etc), so it makes it that much harder to find someone who would fit into my life without feeling like something is lacking and they look elsewhere.


So how do some of you deal with issues like this? And have you found someone to share a relationship with without all of the sexual strings attached?

Newbie

  • Dec. 31st, 2009 at 4:25 AM


Hi. This is my first post... an introduction. =)  I'm an 18 year old young woman. *waves* 

I'm just... not interested in sex. At the same time, I would consider myself straight, because I have had romantic attractions to men and a few months back broke off a long-term relationship with a boy I really was in love with. But there's no sexual feeling there.

I want to say hi to everyone, is all.
Wish you all a Happy New Year.

*hug*
 


Demisexual issues.

  • Dec. 29th, 2009 at 1:03 AM
So, I am a demisexual who is in a situation of unrequited love with a fairly sexual person. The sex drive thing hasn't been an issue so much, because I do want HER.

cut for the fact that I'm rambling incoherently... )

Holy balls, worst OKC message ever!

  • Dec. 28th, 2009 at 9:37 PM
WOW! I've had disrespectful messages on OKCupid before, but this took the cake! I've never blocked someone so soon unless it was just rapid-fire curse words or advertisements!

Cut for language, and incredible asexuality-related FAIL )

All I can say is holy CRAP. . . .

Note: He's freaking FORTY-FIVE.

Homepage Spotlight 12/28/09

  • Dec. 28th, 2009 at 10:42 AM
[info]renaissance2010
Turning to photography as a creative outlet during a valiant fight with breast cancer at age 34, [info]renaissance10 survived and set up a photo contest to help raise funds for the Lavender Trust, a nonprofit that provides information and support to younger women with breast cancer. In the first two years, the competition brought in over £65,000 (that's $107,260.73 U.S.!), with entries from 130 countries last year. Renaissance10 recently joined LiveJournal to meet other passionate photographers and find supportive friends.

Homepage Spotlight 12/28/09

  • Dec. 28th, 2009 at 10:39 AM
[info]curiouscupcakes
Holy buttercream frosting! If you have a sweet tooth for sugary goodness or a wandering eye for whimsical confection, this is pure ecstasy iced in deliciousness. Hailing the beloved cupcake as the artisinal canvas of choice, you'll enjoy recipes, photos, and bountiful tips to bake up a batch, whether your taste leans toward French classics or funky and flavorful.

Homepage Spotlight 12/28/09

  • Dec. 28th, 2009 at 10:37 AM
[info]mission101
With New Years in the offing, it's an ideal time to reflect on past accomplishments, make peace with disappointments, and refocus the lens on future goals. This community welcomes you to create a bucket list of 101 things you plan to accomplish in the next 1,001 days. Offering support, guidance, and inspiration, this is a great way to jumpstart those pesky resolutions.

trans 101

  • Dec. 26th, 2009 at 2:57 PM
This is nearly 20 minutes of "trans 101" and parts of it really resonate for the ace community as well - 12:30 is right around one of the charts that lists "neither" as an orientation option =D



I hope everyone is having safe holiday adventures =)

Asexuality in literature, again

  • Dec. 26th, 2009 at 11:06 PM
I seem to remember a few posts a while ago about asexuality dealt with in literature, and outstanding examples of same. It just occurred to me when I went to see the new Sherlock Holmes movie today, then read some reviews to see how it went by the critics. One of their main criticisms was Holmes' romantic/quasi-sexual interest in the film being out of sync with the books, as the character is described as originally "asexual."
Now I know sometimes anything short of nymphomania is decried as "asexual" in modern media, but it got me wondering about the examples of primarily asexual characters in books, possibly including the original Sherlock Holmes. At any rate, the romantic relationship in the movie never actually lead to any sex scenes, which is nice for me (not having to sit boredly through them as in most movies I can't fast-forward) and unusual in a lot of big Hollywood movies that seem to feel it's a prerequisite.
Any Conan Doyle fans care to comment?